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April 06 2012
“— The Pervocracy
Sex for me is a three-step process.
1. Find out what you want.
2. Make sure your partner knows what you want, and you know what they want.
3. Dirty sweaty monkey love.
Step 3 gets all the glamor. But it's rare chemistry indeed that makes Step 3 just work out without any planning. The awkward, talky, using-the-word-clitoris-without-giggling process of the first two steps is where the real magic happens. ”
December 24 2011
“ “If you’re gonna have pizza with someone else, what do you have to do? You gotta talk about what you want. Even if you’re going to have the same pizza you always have, you say, ‘We getting the usual?’ Just a check in. And square, round, thick, thin, stuffed crust, pepperoni, stromboli, pineapple — none of those are wrong; variety in the pizza model doesn’t come with judgment. So ideally when the pizza arrives, it smells good, looks good, it’s mouthwatering. Wouldn’t it be great if we had that kind of anticipation before sexual activity, if it stimulated all our senses, not just our genitals but this whole-body experience. And what’s the goal of eating pizza? To be full, to be satisfied. That might be different for different people; it might be different for you on different occasions. Nobody’s like ‘You failed, you didn’t eat the whole pizza.’”— It's My Pleasure...—
”
sellerieJuly 06 2011
“— Random Acts of Sexual Citizenship | CarnalNationBe supportive of consensual adult sexuality that isn't your cup of tea. This includes all orientations, genders, polyamory, kink, swing, furry, monogamy, abstinence or missionary-with-lights-out.
Don't be a snob about sexual styles that you think are "boring." Be supportive of their joy.
Build allies of sex-positivity. The more that people of different sex styles can support and appreciate one another, the more likely that they'll come to your aid when society tries to persecute you and your private life legally or morally.
Practice judgment neutrality in conversation and check or question your own "squick" and discomfort around sexual style not your own.
”
June 18 2011
June 12 2011
May 19 2011
“— sourceOral Sex...An Ode To Love
Penis breath, a lover's dread
”
Is what you get when you give head
Unpleasant as it tends to be
Be grateful that he doesn't pee
It's times like this, you wonder why
you bothered reaching for his fly
But it's too late, can't be a tease
Accept the facts, get on your knees
You know you've got a job to do
So open wide and shove it through
Lick the tip then take it all
Don't drag your teeth or he might bawl
Slide up and down, use your tongue
And feel the precum start to run
So when the fuck's he gonna cum
Just, when you can't take anymore
You hear your lover's mighty roar
And when he hits that real high note
You feel it oozing down your throat
Salty, fishy, sticky, stuff
Okay, already that's enough
Let's switch you say, before you gag
And what revenge, you're on the rag.
some oral sex jokes just aren't very tasteful.
April 29 2011
this is what happy!turtle sounds like. tortoise. turtleoise.
April 24 2011
Perhaps Today! by Reverend Cha Cha Puddlewinks
"Praise the me," he said, momentarily breaking our kiss, "I wasn't sure you'd go for it."
"Me?" I stammered, astounded, "YOU were worried about ME?"
"You'd be surprised at how many people reject Christ" he said. "Not good for the ol' self-esteem."
____________________________________um. happy easter? have some gay jesus porn. XD
explicit (very) and hilarious (also very). caveat lector, yo. and if you manage to find all the biblical metaphors hidden in there ("the twink of twinks" would be one, yes) you get cookies.
paket
April 13 2011
April 10 2011
Story Time of the Day: “It is a little bit like having a waste treatment plant right next to an amusement park”: Julia Sweeney’s sex talk with her eight-year-old daughter goes from bad to worse to amazing.
[mefi.]
chickinsoup via
OddyFebruary 04 2011
leyrer
July 19 2010
cypherMay 25 2010
March 31 2010
Invaluable for keeping what's left of your sanity when you have to, say, peel and dice approximately eight billion tomatoes. And just really anything but boring, otherwise.
January 22 2010
via New York Columns - Political Smut Makers
...Apple totally stole that design. XD
ps: YES THERE IS A FEMINIST PORN AWARD. \o/
coloredgrayscale
November 30 2009
Two weeks later, a girl with a word fetish calls in to give her view of the whys and hows. Her story is simultaneously hilarious and slightly concerning to me. Because mmmh, words. Well, I guess I'm safe as long as I don't start wanking to dictionaries. XD And there'd be way worse fetishes to end up with, anyway.
[download the clip here]
In addition to his weekly sex and relationship advice column Savage Love, Dan Savage also does a weekly podcast where people can call in to record a message and he calls them back to talk. This one is special. A guy calls in because his girlfriend has a grammar kink where she likes to correct his grammar during sex and he'd like to indulge her but can't keep a straight face. Aww. After wiping tears of laughter off of my face, I managed to make a clip of the call. (NSFW, duh.)
[download link for the clip]
Also, two weeks later a girl with a word fetish calls in in response.
Oddy
November 25 2009
Kind of disappointed they didn't go with a Han *Solo* reference, there. XD
brightbyte
“ Note: Irrumāre, which in English is denoted by the passive construction "to be sucked", is an active verb in Latin, since the irrumator was considered to be the active partner, the fellator the passive. Irrumātiō is the counterpart of fellatio; in Roman terms, which are the opposite way round to modern conceptions, the giver of oral sex inserts his penis into the mouth of the receiver. ”— On Wikipedia, they translated it as "I will buttfuck and facefuck you, faggot Aurelius and pervert Furius, because you thought me indecent because my poems are somewhat sissified."
Latin profanity - Wikipedia
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