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May 03 2012
“ Drink Some Fucking Tea— Drink Some Fucking Tea - Nele - Avatar: The Last Airbender, Go the Fuck to Sleep [Archive of Our Own]The scary Fire Lord is far away in his volcano
And Azula is nowhere to be seen.
You’re cozy and safe on your ship, Prince Zuko.
Please drink some fucking tea.The engines are quietly chugging
As we sail through the icy southern sea.
I’ll teach you one very last kata if you swear
You’ll drink some fucking tea.The Avatar has soared over the horizon
And we’re lucky our ship didn’t sink.
I know you want your honor. You told me. Stop shouting.
Sit the fuck down, my nephew, and drink.The wind barely covers Zhao’s howls of fury.
Such a lovely sound, don’t you agree?
You won an Agni Kai, can’t you be happy for two seconds?
Coal and ashes, what the fuck? Drink some tea.You deserve to be wet and miserable.
Invading Kyoshi Island was a horrible idea.
Hell no, you can’t have the fucking Avatar.
You know what you can have? Some tea.I told you a storm was coming.
Why must you always rush? Can’t you think?
A hot crimson rage fills my heart, nephew.
For real, cut the fucking crap and drink.You’ve been out all night bothering Zhao
And still you don’t sleep a wink.
How is it you can sneak into Pohuai stronghold
But you can’t stop pacing long enough to have one fucking drink?Enlighten me, Prince Zuko, what kind of blistering idiot
Sends a shirshu into a nunnery?
Enough with this nonsense. You’re out of control.
I’ve got two words for you, brat: fucking tea.Lieutenant Jee sings a stirring love song
And the sparrow-gulls chirp and tweet.
Come to fucking music night, how often must I ask you?
Quit your moping. Play the tsungi horn. Drink some tea.Flames leap high from the wreckage of our ship
As I pull you from the debris.
My life is a failure, I’m a shitty-ass uncle.
Stop almost dying on me, please, drink some tea.Zhao’s fleet unleashes doom and destruction
While I stand here and openly weep.
Sure, fine, whatever, go swim under the North Pole.
Who the fuck cares? You’ll never drink your tea.We’re on a raft in a tealess ocean
But at least you’re here in one piece.
You can get back at the waterbender next time, Zuko.
Let’s first find some land and some tea.I’m poisoned and starving because you listened to Azula.
At least give me a name that doesn’t stink.
I might slip some white jade into your tea, Junior,
But of course you just won’t fucking drink.Now I’ve got you cornered. A job in a teashop!
Tea as far as the eye can see.
Oh shit. The bison’s here. You’ve gotta be kidding.
Come on, drink some more fucking tea.THE END
”
Go the Fuck to Sleep, Avatar Style.
Iroh ftw.
April 21 2012
Scio esse hanc cogitatio dificile sed ... volo ut te scribere fabula in Latinam linquam. de apologo aut thema non curo. Quam celeriter verbae ab me volaverant atque nunc exercere requiro. Tibi gratias ago, Anomine!
@sofias
told you there's fanfic for everything. here's some from a fic prompt meme (for the eagle), in latin. IN LATIN. ♥♥<3
even without the prompt fills, i'd love this for the comments alone:
Iam nos indigi sunt pornis... porn, porni, porni, pornem, porne, pornes, pornerum, pornebus, pornes, pornebus? Estne verum verbum Latinum significens "porn"?
(try putting that into gargle translate, btw, even if you understand it)
darque
February 24 2012
“ As soon as the Tardis is gone, Dief splashes through the surf, hopping back and forth as he chases a small scuttling thing. He pounces on it. It pinches him. He bounces away, barking. It's the greatest.— runpunkrun: dårlig ulv stranden
A stiff figure in red comes around a rocky outcrop. It stops several feet away and begins a diatribe about running off at the docks, stowing away in a freighter bound for Norway, and then joining a travelling performance troupe. Dief cocks his head to signal his disinterest in this and shakes the sea water from his coat.
"Bad wolf," the Mountie says. ”
December 26 2011
“— fuckyeahfanficflamigochildoftheburgo asked: Is ice hockey a fanfic term, or is it... actually ice hockey?
It is… actually ice hockey.
”
=') better make sure. you never know.
Yuletide 2011 is up!
Yuletide is an annual fanfic exchange for small and rare fandoms. Like, i-can't-believe-someone-wrote-fic-for-this rare; half the fun is looking at the list of fandoms. Authors are revealed on January 1st.
Previous years are still archived at the old site.
Happy reading! (I know I will be. Happy, reading.)
December 19 2011
“— Adventures of Comic Book Girl: Mary Sue, what are you? or why the concept of Sue is sexistSo, there’s this girl. She’s tragically orphaned and richer than anyone on the planet. Every guy she meets falls in love with her, but in between torrid romances she rejects them all because she dedicated to what is Pure and Good. She has genius level intellect, Olympic-athelete level athletic ability and incredible good looks. She is consumed by terrible angst, but this only makes guys want her more. She has no superhuman abilities, yet she is more competent than her superhuman friends and defeats superhumans with ease. She has unshakably loyal friends and allies, despite the fact she treats them pretty badly. They fear and respect her, and defer to her orders. Everyone is obsessed with her, even her enemies are attracted to her. She can plan ahead for anything and she’s generally right with any conclusion she makes. People who defy her are inevitably wrong.
God, what a Mary Sue.
I just described Batman.
”
"Wish fulfillment characters have been around since the beginning of time. The good guys tend to win, get the girl and have everything fall into place for them. It’s only when women started doing it that it became a problem."
July 11 2011
July 07 2011
“ Fan-fiction writers aren't plagiarists who can't come up with their own ideas, and they're not all amateurs. Naomi Novik, whose Temeraire novels are best sellers and have been optioned by Peter Jackson, who directed the Lord of the Rings movies, writes fan fiction. "Fanfic writing isn't work, it's joyful play," she says. "The problem is that for most people, any kind of writing looks like work to them, so they get confused why anyone would want to write fanfic instead of original professional material, even though they don't have any problem understanding why someone would want to mess around on a guitar playing Simon and Garfunkel." ”— The Boy Who Lived Forever -- TIME
“ Fan fiction is what literature might look like if it were reinvented from scratch after a nuclear apocalypse by a band of brilliant pop-culture junkies trapped in a sealed bunker. ”— The Boy Who Lived Forever -- TIME
...a mainstream media article about fanfiction that doesn't suck. at all.
let's hug it and squeeze it and call it george; poor thing is very probably the only one of its kind.
June 25 2011
A Brief History of Johns, by lavvyan
Sherlock buries John Six in the bed of Johns at the back of the garden, between the tulips and the daffodils.
short, gen, completely kid-safe. don't want to give anything else away, it'd spoil the fun.
June 17 2011
[Background — a six piece pie style colour split in three shades of pink. Foreground — the long neck and face of a pink flamingo.
Top text: DON’T CARE ABOUT THE SHOW
Bottom text: JUST HERE FOR THE FIC]
fuckyeahfanficflamingo
it's like -- you blink, and suddenly there are some 93 new bookmarks in your delicious account. >.>
June 10 2011
A Trekkie's Tale
"Gee, golly gosh, gloriosky," thought Mary Sue as she stepped on the bridge of the Enterprise. "Here I am, the youngest lieutenant in the Fleet—only 15-1/2 years old."
Captain Kirk came up to her. "Oh, Lieutenant, I love you madly. Will you come to bed with me?"
"Captain! I am not that kind of girl!"
"You're right. And I respect you for it. Here, take over the ship while I go for some coffee for us."
Mr. Spock came onto the bridge. "What are you doing in the Command Seat, Lieutenant?"
"The Captain told me to."
"Flawlessly logical. I admire your mind."
Captain Kirk, Mr. Spock, Dr. McCoy and Mr. Scott beamed down with Lt. Mary Sue to Rigel XXXVII. They were attacked by green androids and thrown into prison. In a moment of weakness Lt. Mary Sue revealed to Mr. Spock that she, too, was half Vulcan. Recovering quickly, she sprung the lock with her hairpin and they all got away safely back to the ship.
But back on board, Dr. McCoy and Lt. Mary Sue found out that the men who had beamed down were seriously stricken by the jumping cold robbies, Mary Sue less so. While the four officers languished in Sick Bay, Lt. Mary Sue ran the ship, and ran it so well she received the Nobel Peace Prize, the Vulcan Order of Gallantry and the Tralfamadorian Order of Good Guyhood.
However, the disease finally got to her and she fell fatally ill. In the Sick Bay, as she breathed her last, she was surrounded by Captain Kirk, Mr. Spock, Dr. McCoy and Mr. Scott all weeping unashamedly at the loss of her beautiful youth and youthful beauty, intelligence, capability and all around niceness. Even to this day her birthday is a national holiday on the Enterprise.
The End
______________________
The parody that established the term 'Mary Sue'.
(Can we be sure it was really a Mary Sue, though? After all, it doesn't say anything about her having auburn hair and eyes the colour of spring hyacinths...)
antifuchs
June 08 2011
“ "You have two very simple rules," Lestrade continued. "Don't talk about the paper chase outside of this room, and don't throw food inside of it."— sam_storyteller: Rematch Quotes
Dove: Wait, the second rule of Fight Club is "no food fights?"
Junie: Food Fight Club meets on Tuesdays. ”
June 07 2011
“ It's like the innuendo fairy blew through and said "IMMA JUST LEAVE THIS HERE, KAY?!" ”— sam_storyteller: Rematch Quotes
darque
June 06 2011
via Dinosaur Comics
"So you stand on the shoulders of giants and read what they wrote and say "Calm down everybody, I got this" and then you rewrite it!"
remix dinosaurs! ♥
June 05 2011
sam_storyteller: Neal Caffrey Versus The BBC
"It's like having a kid," he'd grumbled to Elizabeth.
"Make sure he washes behind his ears," she'd told him, and kissed him and sent him off after securing a promise that he'd be back for dinner.
His phone beeped; Neal was within twenty yards. Peter crossed his arms and sat back in the chair, patient.
Mozzie walked in first. He was wearing a long blue military-style coat, a spiky brown hairpiece, and what looked like suspenders over an oxford shirt. Peter stared, but not as hard as he stared at Neal when he appeared in the doorway behind him.
"Seriously, I know I have a reduced expectation of privacy, but you could text," Neal said, looking annoyed.
"What are you wearing?" Peter asked. Neal looked down at his clothing. "Is that a bow tie?"
"Bow ties are cool, Peter," Neal informed him. For some reason Mozzie found this hilarious.
________________________________
White Collar gen, on the shortish side (<3500 words). As a summary/how this came about, here's an earlier comment of the author's:The idea of Neal as a closet fan of classic Beeb scifi is endearing and enchanting.
I bet he knows where the lost episodes of Doctor Who are and has a plan to steal them.
Oh, fuck. *makes a note to write this*
and then he did. =D
May 19 2011
“— Touchy, Feely - Basingstoke - Sherlock (TV), Sherlock Holmes & Related Fandoms [Archive of Our Own]"Have you ever had sex?"
Sherlock looked at me. "An inappropriately provocative question. Uncharacteristic for you."
"We're bonding. Discussion of sexual history is pretty standard between two blokes," I said.
"I've noticed that."
I nodded encouragingly. "I'm sure you have."
"You're making fun of me," Sherlock said. "Why? There's nobody else around."
"Because pointing out the failings of another human in an affectionate way is another method of bonding."
"That's affection?"
"I feel affectionate," I said.
Sherlock sighed and looked away. "Too much data. Can't find the pattern. I need to think."
”
gen, short. listened to the podfic version rather than reading it (because reading and preparing dinner at the same time can lead to seriously uncomfortable redefinitions of the term "finger food"). made me laugh out loud, several times.
May 12 2011
“ it helps us become better, because it entertains people, because it’s important to make sure that stories aren’t just told by people with money or power or budgets— i have a cunning plan
Stories don’t belong to studios, they belong to anyone who can talk or write
—leupagus ”
Maybe Soup is currently being updated? I'll try again automatically in a few seconds...
